Hello and welcome to my blog about my newest painting. I would like to introduce you to "Infinite Replication" a painting that I started brainstorming after my final chemo treatment in late September of last year and then officially started painting in December of 2025.
I want to be very honest with you, when I was first diagnosed with cancer I really wasn't sure if I would want to make any paintings about it. And I think I was worried that making art about it would somehow sanitize the experience. Sort of wrap it up in a nice pretty bow and compartmentalize it as an incident that could somehow be reframed as something beautiful absent of the trauma. But once I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel of this intense experience, I thought making a painting could be serve as a small but significant step in processing such a dark time of my life.
So when I decided that I felt comfortable and even excited to make a painting about my cancer, I wanted it to be true to the experience. And this is what I am presenting to you today. A painting that is indeed beautiful but shows the existential fear of being ripped apart cell by cell while surrounded by complete darkness. A piece of artwork that I'm proud to say honors the Austin from a year ago who was so afraid but so willing to fight till his last breath.
Please enjoy the pain and beauty in this painting. And please feel free to reach out if it interests you.
36"x48" | Oil on panel | $15,000
Payment plans are available (payments as low as $500 per month with Zero interest)
15% of the purchasers payment will be donated to the Cancer foundation of New Mexico which helps fund the needs of financially-challenged cancer patients and their families.
Painting Description
Deep beneath skin, muscle and bone they silently begin to replicate. One becomes two, two to four and so on. Growing and spreading light where it shouldn’t be. Unaware of their own destruction, all they want is to multiply, this is all they know. They threaten to shatter me piece by piece, rendering the vessel that I’ve trusted all of my life impotent before I even reach the halfway point. This impending threat is no stranger from the outside world, I am attacking myself simply because of some small bug in my system. A microscopic error in an infinite line of code demanding an early expiration date.
Aided by the right chemicals in the right hands, I’m willing to hurt myself if it means killing the death that is inside of me. In my fight I feel the ones who have fallen before me, the warriors who couldn’t stop the replication, telling me that this isn't my final chapter but rather the beginning of an entirely new book. I can feel the gentle hands of ghosts and survivors all giving me hope for brighter days. Piece by piece I put myself back together, fighting my way back to my true self, bruised and scared but alive with more time.
Note on Payment Plans: Art is expensive, I get it. And I want the people who love a painting the most to have access to that piece even if they cannot pay for it all at once. So if you are interested in a particular painting please reach out to me so that we can create a payment plan that works for both of us. I'm very lucky that my website allows for a variety of payment options and I've already used this system with several clients. I currently charge 0% interest on payment plans.
Alternate Description
This painting is a self portrait. I photographed myself just a few weeks after a 6 month bout of chemotherapy to fight stage 4 cancer at the age of 32. This unimaginable news changed my life forever and towards the end of my treatment I decided I wanted to create a painting about this intense experience. The single light source in this piece originates directly where the cancer started, in the lymph node right behind my sternum. And the branching leaves represent the infinite replication of the corrupt cells that refused to die and had spread throughout my body. Included in this painting are the spirits of Dorothy Howlett and Ardelle Pascua-Lay as a butterfly and dragonfly, two meaningful people in my life who couldn’t not stop the replication but nonetheless inspired me to fight my way to recovery.